Closer together

Dinner was at our local Japanese restaurant as the end of the shopping day.  A successful day, one that G found some shoes, finally, after a long search.

Over dinner G shared a past story from his life with a girlfriend at the time, S.  Listening to what unfolded and what had happened really gave me a better understanding of G.  It also, in another way, really reassured me of G's commitment to me, the kids and our relationship.  And an appreciation of how much he opened up his life to me and gave to me.  It was only me that couldn't ask for help or communicate clearly.   I've not doubted that G isn't in it, we've certainly had moments that have confused me but G has always made me see that he's in it.  I'm the one that will hit a rough moment in time and put a wall up.  G's taught me not to, taught me to talk, be fair and stay on topic.

A few things happened this weekend that made me see more clearly his commitment to me.  His love.  It was nice. It felt like I was moving in to a better place after dealing with some trauma.

Tonight I cleared the kids lego, sorted out their clothes, washed their sheets and prepared for the new week.  It's Oscar's birthday coming up.  He's turning 9! Already.

Akuna Bay and Church Point

Weekend time!  It was the first clear weekend with no rain when we could get out on the bike.  We rode the Thumper.  It felt great.  G pointed the bike north and picked the best ride considering the weekend traffic and double demerit points.  We rode freely through the winding roads around Akuna Bay and Church Point.  It was wonderful.

We stopped for lunch at Church Point.  Sharing a seafood platter, it felt like we were a million miles from home as we ate on the water, relaxed and content.

The lookout was awesome.  It doesn't take long from home before we're surrounded by forest and standing on a mountain's edge appreciating the beautiful scenery.

Master G

Looking north to Umina and Ettalong

Sea planes fly over and a scattering of sail boats enjoy the harbour

I'm savouring the time with G before the Canberra trips take him away from home for a longer period of time and when his weekends will be down time and relaxing from a busy and stressful week.

Australia Day

This is the first Australia Day in three years that we were not up with the sun and heading to Clontarf Beach.  The cloudy day and sprinkles of rain brought a relaxed morning and easy day at a friend's home in Beauty Point.

The kids love seeing G's friends and Jaz and Xman.  They play so easily and happily all day.  It's wonderful.

Great day.  Wonderful company. Glass of wine. Nice food. Some laughs.  My friend Rose came along, and its always so good to catch up.  Its amazing how we've reconnected after some years busy in our own worlds.  Our regular dinners with or without the kids are such a good debrief on life.

Today was a perfect way to wrap up the end of school holidays as well.

All Stars!

I'm not sure what this says about me, but I just bought my first pair of All Star Converse shoes!  they are the slim line style.  They are so comfortable.  I wouldn't have given Converse a second glance if it wasn't for G.  We also bought Master O a Converse shirt.  It's very cool

Need a holiday

Dear Universe

Please send G and I a holiday.  I really need to have some time out.  Even for 5 days.

Yours truly
Exhausted

hmmm

I wish I could help reduce G's stress.  He seems stressed with work, there is alot on, there is alot to get across the line this year and make happen.  I wish I could relieve some of that stress.

Little Delight

Sienna is so funny.  This morning she was just so full of life.  A little off the planet as she jumped, skipped and bounced around.  She is so funny.  An absolute delight with her smile and charm.

She is reading her grown up book using a book mark, just like nanna does.  She calls it her 'chapter book' because it has only chapters, no pictures.  It's call 'Girls Stick Together.'

The numbers add up! But what is the Universe trying to show me!?

Jackie's mum phoned me this morning to confirm my appointment with Lily Liu, a Chinese herbs specialist.  It's hard to get bookings but given that Jackie's family know her they were able to secure an appointment quite quickly, so I'm grateful.

I'm booked for: 2 Feb 2012 at 2pm.  That's quite a play on numbers.

If I add the numbers up: 2+2+2+0+1+2.  It equals: 9.

9 is my life path number!

After mentioning this to G, I will have to make the appointment.  How spooky!

What does all this mean?!  What is the Universe trying to point out at the moment!? 

Dear roller coaster, can you please slow down on the twists and turns!

(another bizarre moment: Last night, 11pm R F#o phoned.  I haven't spoken to him for 18years, since we went our separate ways.  He was very jovial as he reminisced. It was quite funny.  He recalled so much that I'd forgotten about, or never gave much thought to.    He asked loads of questions about what I've been up to.  He wasn't too keen on answering mine as he asked more questions and joked.  He still skis 6 weeks overseas. Parents still at Northbridge. Sister still vet.  Ofcourse I asked him what car he was driving and what bike, lol.  He has a 599 and Ducati 916.  They didn't mean much to me until I looked it up!  I'm puzzled by the random call.

After reading Cainer's stars today I'm really trying to listen to the Universe and my gut.

JC:
The funniest jokes tend to be the ones that touch on taboo topics. When we stray into sensitive territory, all our reactions become exaggerated. Things become either deeply sad or hilariously funny. We are either curious or blissful; full of fear or full of faith. The Moon remains in your sign. A situation is now stirring up a profound emotion within you. That's good, insofar as it is helping you decide what you truly feel about a particular person or situation. Just remember that things are not as immutable as they may seem

My Girl & Litte T

View from work

I've moved out of accounts and in to project and property management.  I'm really enjoying it.  For the first time in years I'm enjoying work, I'm fulfilled being productive doing some thing I enjoy.  I'm grateful for my parking spot, the girls I work with a great and I have a nice view from my desk.

Ten Pin Bowling

Sunday was Ten Pin Bowling and relaxing.  (Well, as relaxed as 3 loads of washing, preparing everyones breakfasts, dinner, vacuuming, sweeping up cats mess, bath time, teeth time, cleaning and playing with kids, can be).

I was telling G I was thinking of getting my teeth straightened with the invisiline. He said why would I need to do that, he thinks the front inward teeth are cute and they're not that bad. If I got them straightened I'd be perfect and people may think I've had work done. I think that was a compliment in there. I'll take whatever compliment I can get from G.

Dinner was easy and Sienna watched the first return episode of Young Talent Time.  She is growing so fast and sharply observing all the older girls around her or on tv.

I was completely exhausted by bedtime.  I was hoping for some nocturnal activities but I was dead.

PS:  And Happy Birthday little T.  We had sparklers tonight to celebrate T turing 1 !!!

Ribs & Burgers

A productive Saturday: G got his car serviced, we caught up with my Aunty P & Uncle, with mum and nephew.  Morning tea was enjoyed.  The afternoon at home was nice as the kids happily played with the lego.  They can play so well together.  It's lovely.  I sat with them building a cafe, post office and petrol station.  I remembered how much I used to love lego when I was young.

The digital radio is still a hit.  The kids are always putting it on.  Sienna loves to dance and insists I watch her new routines.  She's been poaching moves from America's Got Talent.  Glad to see she has some contemporary dance moves and has left the stripper moves behind.  Good bye Lady Gaga, hello style!

The day was topped off with a delicious dinner at Ribs & Burgers.  G hasn't discussed the possible Bali  holiday and whether its on or what's happening.  I think the window for number 3 will be pushed out to March.  This year will be the year of the Dragon too, another good reason to make it happen this year.  If left too long I fear I may not go for number 3.

Now I just have to pick the Window

Great catch up with Master G last night.  Talked, relaxed, I even exercised!  We need to confirm today whether we're going to go to Bali in Feb or not?!  Then we can confirm the 'window' for Lucky Number 3!

I'm excited and thinking 4 Feb is the window.  Then there is a part of me thinking, just wait, be patient, do launch date 1 March.  Maybe I'm just nervous as well, hence the internal debate of timing.

G asked about my birthday aswell.  I cringe when people ask.  I just want to disappear around my birthday.  I don't want to self analyse it, I just feel uncomfortable and awkward.

Today's rambling 18 Jan 2012

I think Master G is going to be at he's work conference for the 1st window of opportunity.  This would give us Lucky Number 3 arriving on his birthday!

Next windows of opportunity is: 1 March, then 26 March.  I need to be around 5 days before these dates so hospital can track the 'window'

Will it happen?  Not sure, Master G is away alot in the coming months.  We will see.  If the Universe wants it to happen, if the time is right, then it will happen.  I don't want to make it happen, it shouldn't become a task or some thing difficult.  As time creeps along though, as I start to prepare physically and mentally its hard not to want to just get started. 

Last time I put work on hold, I didn't take up netball or certain things I wanted to do because the lead up and then the pregnancy... there is no point committing to a sport to then have to stop a month or so in therefore I just put things on hold.  I was treading water.  It became frustrating to me and the family probably felt that frustration.

Enough of my ramble today.  I'll chat to Master G hopefully tonight.  I had dinner last night with a friend visiting from Shanghai, it was a good catch up so I missed seeing Master G.  I did receive a text message form Master G last night reporting that Little T was friendly, then ignoring him, then playful, then viscious - just normal.  He makes me laugh (Master G that is)

Lucky number 3

Today I looked in to the timing of adding to our family.  Our lucky number 3.  Our Little B.  I know in my heart that there is still a beautiful soul to join us.  He wasn't ready last time, or perhaps we weren't ready.  We've been through a lot.  My body has been through alot both physically and emotionally too.  After 3 losses it makes you appreciate even more how precious life is and how lucky we are with two gorgeous little ones that are healthy, happy and so clever and curious. I'm so grateful for the affection to Master G and how good he is with them in return.

I'm excited.  But there is more preparation this time.  I have to take a progesterone and clexane.  I'm not thrilled.  It's only for 10weeks so this is the good news.  Those 10 weeks are going to be long and I feel some anxiety about the intimacy factor.  I know I'll discuss this with Master G this week.  I feel a lot of it will be with me to express myself through this time frame.  I will have to have 5 days of blood tests first thing in the morning.  Then after launch date I will be self-medicating at home.  It's not know if I'll feel unwell or be fine.  The kids are starting school, there is work and Master G has trips to Canberra.  Busy.  I feel good though.  I feel ready.  I'm trying not to push the start date of 30 january.  I guess a more practical date is 28 Feb, the next date would be 21 March.  Let's see what happens :-)

Home alone

Master G is in Canberra for the night.  Litte T the cat and I miss him.  Little T goes on wee and poo strike.  Tonight he sat on his thong waiting.  He watched me exercise, puzzled at my groans of pain.  Then with a stretch he went to wait on Master G's side of the bed.  Little T sulks more than the kids.

A bush turkey!

I got home a bit later tonight as I was delayed at work.  Master G is away in Canberra tonight.  Little T the cat was waiting by the door.  Opened the balcony door for him and stood enjoying the view and some fresh air after being stuck in the office all day.  Looking down on the grass there was a bush turkey strolling around!  It feels like we do live in the bush!

Friday felt special, for a 13th

This morning Master G was headed out just before me.  He came in to the kitchen and gave me a hug and a kiss bye.  He picked up his bag and he said from the doorway of the kitchen, 'babe, I love you.'  He said it with such feeling, with such sincerity my heart skipped a beat.  It was just wonderful.

Relaxing weekend

Enjoyed a relaxing weekend with Master G.  After a lazy morning we had a late breakfast at Driftwood, Narenburn.  We're always gauranteed a nice meal and we can read the paper at a leisurely pace.

We drove around the area looking at house and came across a guy about to hang-glide.  We're not sure if he made it in the air, he took so long dancing in the wind, he's feet still on the grass, we drove off to enjoy the rest of the day.  I wondered for a while what it would feel like to be in the air like that, would it be quiet, is it hard work to keep stable on such a rugged cliff line, he is braver than I.

Tonight we saw 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.'  It was fantastic.  Nice dinner out, great movie, wonderful Saturday.

Nurf attack

By the time Christmas was over Master O had four Nurf guns.  All different times, all with different firing mechanisms.  Master G and Master O were running around the house shooting each other.  Well, correct, Master O was shooting at little Master O who didn't want to shoot because he didn't want to lose his bullets.

Having enough of watching the one-way action, I armed myself with Master O's gun and hid behind the door.  In a hushed voice I said to him and Miss S, "watch this."

With my gun pointed forward I ran straight out towards Master G in the kitchen doorway.  A grin lit up his face watching me, clueless, fire off my shots. I think I was also screaming, I'm not very stealth.

I ducked in to the bathroom doorway waiting for Master G to shoot at me so I could try and get him again.  Screaming with excitement I ran forward again, preparing to get hit so I could also get him.  It was take no prisoners (in my head)

After my courageous display we all ran around laughing and shooting.  20 minutes later I had lost some bullets.  Master O gave me the 'told you so' look. 

It was such fun, a good laugh and a game I don't recommend playing before bed.  It took them forever to get to sleep afterwards. 

Above is the hilarious Miss S in fight mode. 

Below is the serious Master O, still counting bullets.

A little rain - a great sleep in

Some one has reset my body's wake up call.  5am!  I don't know why but I'm waking early and its there hard to fall back asleep.  This morning the rain fell.  It was a nice change.  I snuggled in to my pillow and managed to drift back to sleep with the cat curled behind my legs.  It was lovely.  (Urban Hunk was off sprint training)



Urban Hunk

My Urban Hunk shaved his holiday beard this morning, just as I was getting used to it too.  I missed the passionate kisses but he looked sexy with his trimmed beard.  I'm glad to have the delicious kisses back. 
As he shaved he suggested keeping a mo but he looked very 'Brokeback mountain'ish!  The mo looked so funny.

We laugh every day - I love that

Little T

oooh, we are all in love with little T the cat. 

He makes Master G such a softie, he makes me smile with affection, Oscar is gentle (most of the time), Sienna gets way too excited and often smoothers him.

This picture is of Little T asleep behind me as I help Oscar build a wooden house.

Two aquarians following instructions, it was hilarious

The Lounge Chair

Unlike the Thumper that is exhilerating, the Lounge Chair is still fast but ever so comfy

Up with the sun

Miss S wakes early.  6.30am.  She is all smiles and alive, ready for the day.  You are guarateed plenty of smiles as she tries, well she doesn't actually care, if she is quiet.  Her whispers are loud as she chats.  I move out of bed so Master G can sleep and close the kids bedroom door so Oscar can also sleep in.

So Miss S and I spent the morning together, talking, reading and watching tv.  It was nice.  Although by 3pm I like my little nap after the early morning wake up.

Wouldn't change my girl for the world.

Taronga Zoo

It was the first overcast day in the week so Master G organised some tickets and we were off to explore Taronga Zoo.  I love when he organises a day out for us.

The highlight was the Bird Show.  A variety of eagles swooped at high speed just inches above our heads to grab food from the trainers. It was amazing.  A number of other birds show cased their skills and entertained us all, it was such a captivating show and a spectacular view of the Opera House, the city and Harbour Bridge.  Even the kids oooh and agh'd at the Bird Show

The tiger cubs and lion were the other favourite.  Thankfully they were worth the wait.

It was nice to see the elephants. The new calf, Luk Chai, was out with his mum and gave a wave with this trunk.

Singing in the car

We jumped in the car this morning and on went the music.  Buckled in, we pull away from the curb and the kids are singing out loud happily to Jamiroquai.  It was great, so funny, so cute.  Master G and I just laughed, it was wonderful

The Thumper

It was great to get back on the Thumper last night.  The skies were clear and warm, there were hardly any cars on the road, it felt awesome tucked up behind Master G.

Bondi madness

We are guilty of enjoying our ritual people watching and stroll at Bondi.  Our favourite breakie cafe was closed so we strolled before grabbing lunch else where.  It was only when we were leaving in the afternoon that the massive crowds started to roll in.  It was so busy that people were walking from Bondi Junction rather than trying to catch a bus.  We were glad to be getting out.

Was great to stroll hand in hand, soaking up the warm sun.

(we miss the kids, was so quiet without them today)

Glorious new year's day in Sydney

Reading the papers. A little sleep in the park. Oh, so nice.

Thank you Sydney

Manly at its best - happy new year

Thank you Manly for a brilliant day.  Clear blue skies, the kids played happily in the water until sunset.  Wonderful friends to catch up with.

The fireworks lit up the sky and in the background we could see the city fireworks sprinkling their colour over the heads.  Had such a fantastic new years eve.

Moet with strawberries

Thanks to Rose we celebrated in style with a glass of Moet to welcome in the new year!

Top quality red plastic cups, juicy strawberries under the clear sky at Manly.

(it was suppose to be an alcohol free zone so we tried to be discreet opening the bottle of Moet.  I stood watch, probably not so discreet, Rose unwrapped cork, a litte push with the thumbs, and POP!  oops, not so discreet.  It was so funny.)  oh, and I still love the sound of a champage bottle opening.